Mother always told me to face my fears. And despite my departure from my teenage years, I still felt the need to rebel against that ideology. The following anecdote, in addition to reflecting a failed act of rebellion, also demonstrates a “what not to do” in relationships. If you should encounter a gentleman caller, as my grandmother refers to such marriageable prospects, make sure to maintain contact over extended holidays (translation for American=breaks). Otherwise the following situation could happen to you…
LOCATION: Oxford University Social Science Library
CAST OF CHARACTERS: Under-caffeinated 20 year old version of myself, gentleman caller (now GC), and GC’s friends
GC and company are “conveniently” situated near the library desk, where books must be checked out before departing for another, less academic location. Myself, desperately seeking to avoid awkward encounter with GC, suddenly realizes there is no strategic way to maneuver around these groups of boys unnoticed– at least not as my under-caffeinated self. Which is why, in a moment of shear madness, I remove my scarf and create a mock hijab. Yes, I get down and dirty with my inner Muslim. Then, as if my rather pathetic excuse for an Islamic head-covering is not enough, I make my way to the library counter. The librarian takes my card and quickly notices that my card presents me hijab-less. She remarks how cruel secular governmental structures can be to religious Muslims like me. I nod, smile, and motion her to speed up the process. Every second I stand there is another second GC can deduce the absurdity of my actions. After a few moments, I am prepared to bolt through the library entrance, African nationalism books in hand, when a certain oh, so perceptive Swede remarks to the GC: “Is Yaffa Muslim or Jewish?” Without a second thought, I speed through the front door, never to return again. At least not until the following day, when I must check out books on Middle Eastern colonialism.
What do we learn from this story?
1. When avoiding awkward encounters, do not resort to religious garb other than your own. Instead, always carry a face mask. You stand the risk of being mistaken for a robber, but at 5’2” I assume most people would consider me of little threat.
2. Beware of Swedes. They are quite perceptive, and they can see right through your ridiculous excuse for a hijab.
3. Confront your fears immediately. The longer they linger, the harder they are to heal. Not even systematic desensitization can counter them.
haha, well done!
Better to open a book on Middle Eastern Colonialism- stick your nose in it and walk past– if he calls out your name… say “Oooops…. I did not notice you dad kind GC… I was so engrossed in this fascinaing maerial….”